I haven’t been feeling like myself at all lately.  I’m so stressed and I keep looking for an escape which gets me into more trouble.  I can’t handle my thoughts.  I’m becoming forgetful.  Things keep going wrong and they seem like the end of the world to me.  I just pray that the end of the semester will give me a chance to get things back on track.

I feel like people are going to look at my last post and be all, “Hahah, Kiera.  I also act stupid around people that I am attracted to”.  So, I am going to tell you a story.  A story that I am not proud of, but I just want everyone to know HOW STUPID I REALLY AM.

So, once upon a time there was this guy that I had a bit of a crush on because he was sort of a jerk, but a funny jerk.  I don’t know WHY I had a crush on him, but I did.  SO.  Instead of being a normal person and deciding to pursue it, I decided it wasn’t going to happen so we should be friends.  So, I invite the guy over to my house to watch movies.

Guy comes over.  Guy watches bad movies with me while he continues to tell me that he isn’t actually the person that everyone thinks he is.  He lays down with his head in my lap.  Tells me he likes hands and continues to play with mine for a long while.  Movie is over.  I turn my head to look at him and he’s leaning in, and he kisses me.  Guy is a good kisser.  He asks me what it means.  Since he’s sort of a player and I’m really dumb I just shrugged and said “I don’t know”.  And that was that.

I would get messages at like 2 in the morning from him some nights and he would be sweet.  AND THERE WERE A BUNCH OF SIGNS.  The really sad part of this story is that it took me almost a year to put the pieces together and clue in to the fact that there’s a slight chance he may have liked me a bit, too.

I believe that my complete obliviousness to the world of flirting and dating is mostly likely the reason that dates and kisses never amount to much.  Anyways, I am just really really dumb when it comes to guys and I need serious help or someone who is super obvious.  I’m not sharing this story because I still like the guy it’s just a perfect example of how my mind never allows me to think that someone’s intentions surpass friendship.  Yup.

Went for a nice little kayak ride after work/dinner.  I’m so happy that we finally bought one because I love it so much better than our canoe. 

FRIDAY IS COMING, FRIDAY IS COMING!!  I have work, and then something that I’ll talk about another time, AND THEN I DRIVE TO OTTAWA AND SEE MY WONDERFUL ROOMMATE’S FACE.  After I see her wonderful face, we go to Bluesfest and see DALLAS GREEN’S BEAUTIFUL FACE. 

I get to hang out with Jessica, too.  And then Saturday Laura wants us to come out for her birthday.  MAN this weekend is going to be great.